TL;DR

I came back home super tired. Started finishing the update version. I checked the game and it was working fine. Then I had this idea to maybe add Steam Widget to the main menu. So I did just that. And I uploaded the new version without checking this time, because I was sooo sure adding a silly widget to main menu would not break anything. Aaaand then I went to sleep.

Guess what.
It did.
Everything.

I am terribly sorry. I wanted for my first update to be grand and flawless.
I wanted to make a good first impression so badly. And I screwed up all the way from top to bottom. :((((

I updated a hotfix and it should be working now.

All credit goes to Graty. He was the one who reported the bug and literally saved the day. I would not have know otherwise. I'd go enjoy the weekend with a unplayedable game, perfectly ignorant about the dire situation I'm in.

Again, terrible sorry. T_T
~Laura